Tonight is the last day of the Obama Presidency. For those on the East Coast (and just about in the Midwest), it is January 20.
Many scoff and think a lot of us are being overdramatic. That it's "just a change of power-we dealt with it eight years ago-grow up and deal with it too". A couple of things. First off, there were protests when Obama took office. But more important (as everyone has that right to protest), this isn't a normal change in Presidency. Had it been Ben Carson, John Kasich, Jeb Bush, or even Ted Cruz, things wouldn't be like this. This isn't just that our candidate lost. It's about being afraid of what this administration is proving to be capable of.
Cabinet appointees are far from qualified. Someone who couldn't remember the Energy Department is now running it, as will be someone who doesn't believe in public education will be heading the Education Department. Again, this goes far beyond partisan issues.
Furthermore...America chose someone who praises a Russian dictator and decries a civil rights leader. Someone who called Mexicans "rapists" the day he announced his candidacy. He bragged about assaulting women. He wants to build a wall that symbolizes hate, and would likely be paid for by us (and won't stop people from coming into the U.S.) He has said he wants to ban a religion from coming to the U.S. and has advocated the use of tactics that would be considered war crimes. He has also bragged about assaulting women. He can't give detailed plans for many of his ideas, and has already backed down from campaign promises. The list goes on and on. People are hoping he will resign or get impeached. Many people think that's great-but then we would get a man who supported the defunding of Planned Parenthood, a law where you can refuse business to people who identify with an orientation that isn't straight, and believes in conversion therapy.
This isn't normal. Don't let it be normal.
Many are scared. A lot of hate crimes have happened. People who have had hateful thoughts are coming out with this because they think it's okay. Today, I saw a motorcycle with a swastika on it. Others have seen far worse. Why are people scared?
People worry if their right to marry who they love will go away. If their health insurance will go away and have to go without life saving treatment.
They worry they will be discriminated by race or religion. That people won't take them seriously because of their gender.
They worry that we will go into needless wars and see our family and friends die fighting when it was unnecessary. They worry families will be broken up due to immigration issues.
Here is why I'm worried. I have wondered if I should share for awhile, but we need to know why we're fighting.
I worry about my non-straight friends. I am scared that they will be denied the right to love someone like I can. I have non-straight friends that are like family to me, and seeing that basic right go away is awful.
I worry that I could lose access to health insurance, due to having a pre-existing condition from a condition I was born with and is now better, but would still count. I worry about families that would not be able to afford insurance to take care of things like that, like my family was so fortunate to be able to-and honestly an outlier in that sense.
I worry that people like me, who have been victims of sexual assault, will be silenced, whether directly or because they just know that no one will take it seriously-that they will be blamed. I realize we still have that problem as I experienced it first hand. However, we have been making some progress with that, and I do not want to see it go backwards and have more people go through what I did.
Everyone's battles are mine too. We are in this together. It is okay to feel sad and lost right now. However, in whatever time frame you need, it is important to get out there and fight to be on the right side of history, and build on the progress that we have made.
In the words of Lin-Manuel Miranda: "Love is love is love". We need that to get through the fight.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Struggles of the millenial/post-campaign friendship
For those of you (all three of you) that have followed this blog since the beginning, yes, I did write about friendship two years ago. But ideas evolve and new experiences happen. And right now, it seems appropriate to write about it again.
I'm struggling with navigating friendships, particularly with the fact that most all of my good friends now live far away from me. I'm very thankful for all of the social media sites and cell phones that allow me to stay in contact with them, but it's still not easy. And a lot of that is with me.
During the campaign, I had heard of the "post-campaign lull" and mostly wrote that off as nonsense (sorry guys). But I am just now realizing how real that is. Yes, the election has been over for about 6 weeks, but this is the first time in that time I've actually really slowed down and had the blessing/curse of a ton of downtime to think about that. Coupled with the fact that I don't have a job, I really feel that lull right now. Not sure if it's just me or if others have noticed that.
What also is hard is that I love being in constant communication with people-more than most people probably want, which I feel guilty about. I feel like a needy friend almost all of the time right now. The thing is, texting and social media sites are perfect for someone like me that is both an extrovert and introvert: I have an easy way to talk to people, but can do it while by myself. PERFECT! Surely the problem is exacerbated by the fact that I have nothing but free time right now (which is hard for me to handle as I've always had school or a job my entire life-and have enjoyed that). But I get paranoid that if I am not having daily (or almost daily) contact with good friends, that it means our friendship is falling apart. Is that extreme? Probably. I know others do not feel that, which is probably way more healthy.
There is something I want to say other than bitching about my problems. And that is that I love my friends. I try to do whatever I can to help them, and want to be there whenever necessary (seriously, guys, you are the best. You know who you are). I'm sorry if I am overbearing-I just care. But to those of you that are still reading, love your friends. Do nice things. Listen to them. Hug them (if they like it that is-a laugh for those that are aware of my aversion to hugs). Also, if you have an issue with a friend-talk it out-it's better to take care of the problem now than let it blow up and possibly ruin the friendship. Trust me-making friends after you graduate is not as simple as it has been. Hold on to those you want to stay in touch with.
Any thoughts, feelings, etc you have on this, feel free to share via the Facebook comments or message me.
Love ya bye!
I'm struggling with navigating friendships, particularly with the fact that most all of my good friends now live far away from me. I'm very thankful for all of the social media sites and cell phones that allow me to stay in contact with them, but it's still not easy. And a lot of that is with me.
During the campaign, I had heard of the "post-campaign lull" and mostly wrote that off as nonsense (sorry guys). But I am just now realizing how real that is. Yes, the election has been over for about 6 weeks, but this is the first time in that time I've actually really slowed down and had the blessing/curse of a ton of downtime to think about that. Coupled with the fact that I don't have a job, I really feel that lull right now. Not sure if it's just me or if others have noticed that.
What also is hard is that I love being in constant communication with people-more than most people probably want, which I feel guilty about. I feel like a needy friend almost all of the time right now. The thing is, texting and social media sites are perfect for someone like me that is both an extrovert and introvert: I have an easy way to talk to people, but can do it while by myself. PERFECT! Surely the problem is exacerbated by the fact that I have nothing but free time right now (which is hard for me to handle as I've always had school or a job my entire life-and have enjoyed that). But I get paranoid that if I am not having daily (or almost daily) contact with good friends, that it means our friendship is falling apart. Is that extreme? Probably. I know others do not feel that, which is probably way more healthy.
There is something I want to say other than bitching about my problems. And that is that I love my friends. I try to do whatever I can to help them, and want to be there whenever necessary (seriously, guys, you are the best. You know who you are). I'm sorry if I am overbearing-I just care. But to those of you that are still reading, love your friends. Do nice things. Listen to them. Hug them (if they like it that is-a laugh for those that are aware of my aversion to hugs). Also, if you have an issue with a friend-talk it out-it's better to take care of the problem now than let it blow up and possibly ruin the friendship. Trust me-making friends after you graduate is not as simple as it has been. Hold on to those you want to stay in touch with.
Any thoughts, feelings, etc you have on this, feel free to share via the Facebook comments or message me.
Love ya bye!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Everything is Grapes: My Time as a Field Organizer and Thoughts about the election
I've been meaning to write about Election 2016 for some time now, but it has taken me until now to really be prepared to do that. Tonight we are more then a month past the election. It seemed like a time so far away even on Election Day. Some things are just like I imagined it: Christmas decorations in the house, an NFL game on in the background, the possibility of snow on the horizon. Not everything is what I thought it would be, though. Of course, the biggest thing is that when the news talks about the White House Transition, Donald Trump is the President-Elect.
Part of what has prohibited me from writing about my feelings is that they are so broad. I suppose I will start with Election Night. When I sat down with my team of amazing organizers to watch the returns (and rejoice that the insanity of GOTV was FINALLY over), I was so excited and happy. We were about to elect the first female President of the United States! We were just hours away from celebrating the hard work that was our lives for the last several months! The images that played in our heads every day, that kept us going during the hardest times, were finally going to be real! And for the first hour or two, the feeling of excitement continued to fill the air. Sure, we were losing states but they were ones "to be expected"-it would be okay.
It was a little bit before 11pm when we started to get worried. It was looking like Hillary would be losing NC, FL, and OH-something that wasn't only bad in terms of winning, but also something we never thought would actually happen. I went to the car and called my mom and started to panic (and the first crying spell of many occured then as well). After getting a good pep talk from my also worried mom, I went back and watched what seemed to be a bad dream play out on my laptop. Until 12:30, we laid in the dark on blankets watching, and crying. As sad of an experience it was, I am glad I had my amazing co-workers there with me.
Me with my amazing co-workers!!
My other struggle that night was that I wanted to express my feelings by talking when none of the others did; but that is what texting is for (thanks Hilary, Michael, and Alex!). Once our team parted ways for the evening, I went home to my aunts house where I had been staying and watched the returns until 2:30, when CNN finally called PA for Trump. After that...I couldn't watch. I couldn't listen to the commentators fighting, or here the inevitable announcement that Trump was our next President. Waking up the next morning was like a hangover, but worse. That day was a continuous cycle of being okay for a bit, then being overwhelmed with sadness to the point that I wanted to go to bed and hide from it all. Even now, thinking about what happened is really hard sometimes.
As far as the questions of the year-how did this happen?-I don't think there is a simple answer to that. Sure, polling needs to improve to catch people that were missed. There is a divide between rural and urban that desperately needs to be addressed (that is for another blog though). The biggest factor I think, however, is hate. One of the most important lessons I learned in my time on the campaign is that hate is so prevalent in our society. People aren't seeing themselves in a position they wanted, and grow resentful towards others. Unfortunately for us, a candidate emerged that was able to harness and use that hate in such an incredible way. Worst of all, that candidate normalized hate, which is what makes some happy, and many, including myself, terrified.
When I listen to the news about the White House transition, I go between wanting to think that we will be okay, that it will all work out, and being truly worried. And I feel guilty about having both those feelings. At this point, I think the best thing to do is this:
-stay involved. I'm planning to volunteer more, and stay alert to what is happening. By staying involved, we can work towards making change again
-Love one another. Not just family and friends, but everyone. Show compassion to those around you.
-Most importantly-DO NOT NORMALIZE HATE. If crazy, hateful things are attempted, protest. If you see someone being hateful towards someone, STAND UP TO THAT HATE. We must speak up now-more than ever.
As to my personal experience on the campaign-I have been asked if I regret it. The answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT.
No, we didn't get the results we wanted, but we tried. The campaign staff and volunteers worked so hard for a cause that they believed in, and urged others to do the same. I couldn't be more proud of any of them, and gives me hope that there is a bright future ahead.
On a personal note, I learned so much about myself and feel like I truly grew as a person. I learned how to really push myself, to not quit until the job was done. I learned to think of multiple ways to solve problems. I learned how to work with so many different types of people. But most importantly, I learned that I truly can be passionate about something, and that it makes me happy. Before this campaign, I was in a job I was growing to hate, in a city that wasn't suitable for me (minus having my parents and dog there), and was overall miserable. While being a field organizer literally consumed my life, I was so happy. I met cool people and had a chance to make a different. I made many friends, a lot of which I know will stay for many years, a few of those are now some of the people I'm closest to.
Overall, working on the campaign and the results brought about every single emotion, and I could not be more thankful for such a life changing experience.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
5 things people should avoid that would make our world a better place
Hi!
I really am on a writing blog lately...seems more productive than just watching random things on TV. Anyway...I realize the title makes this sound like I am about to give another deep post about things I've learned about myself and all of that...but it's not. It's more humorous; however, I really do believe the things I'm about to say. Granted, I'm all for the "you do you" mantra (in the sense that you should do what you like to do and not worry about what others think), but I have noticed that for the sake of society, some things should be done (or not)
(And yes, a minion picture! Yay!)
Presented below...5 things we should avoid:
1) Listening to music with headphones while driving
It's sad how often I see people doing this, and it just seems unsafe. Granted, I realize cars and traffic are fairly loud, but it's so easy to zone out while wearing those. Plus, cars have stereo systems that are probably better quality...
2) Sitting on the lap of your significant other while in public
Yes, you two are cute together. But I DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS. I know that's not comfortable, and it's all being done as a sensual sort of thing. It's just awkward-maybe I'm oversensitive, but to me, it comes off as "I just wanna go punch the monkey with this person RIGHT NOW, but we're at the mall and this is the closest I can get without getting a nice misdemeanor" . If you want to do this at home or a friends house where you are all friends, go for it. But not at the pool or whatever. Please.
3) Holding up a line by making small talk with the worker helping you
One of the best parts of going to the East Coast to see family is that you generally don't deal with this. Why? Because it's socially unacceptable and I promise you'll get yelled at for it by other patrons. However, Colorado is a bit slower-paced and friendly and this is acceptable. Why can't we just order our coffee, pay the bill, and MOVE ON SO THE NEXT PERSON CAN ORDER AND NOT BE LATE TO WORK WHILE YOU SHARE THE STORY OF HOW YOUR KID DREW SUCH A CUTE PICTURE OF A BUTTERFLY. Ugh. I know the counter to this is that it's nice for the servers, but here's the thing: they're not going to remember you. They will remember the stress of the super long and backed up line you made, however. I'm all for being nice to the cashier-but by I mean saying "please" "thank you" knowing what you want when it's your turn, etc. Not telling a story that is likely boring to them. End rant.
4) Pretending you don't have any stupid guilty pleasures.
I say pretending because it's all a ruse. EVERYONE HAS ONE. Or two...or maybe three. I wish people would just admit them. It's kind of a fun conversation topic, and who knows, maybe the person you're talking to has the same one. Hey, now you have someone to gossip about Keeping Up With the Kardashians with! Case in point: I actually now enjoy Justin Bieber's music and find the gossip about him fun to follow. Yes, he's crazy. Oh well. Judge me all you want. But you have a guilty pleasure too. This world would be so much better if people were open about this and not overly pretentious.
5) Sit right next to someone on public transportation when there is still a lot of open sitting space left
PERSONAL. BOUNDARIES. And it just seems odd. I realize the bus is likely to get full and I will have to have sitting right by me eventually...but not now. Now stop creeping on my phone and sit over there.
If this was at all entertaining, let me know and I"ll do a part 2. I'm just too tired to do more than five. Also, feel free to share your thoughts-if you think these are great and that I should become the next Mindy Kaling or something, or if I"m a psycho that needs to stop :).
Night!
I really am on a writing blog lately...seems more productive than just watching random things on TV. Anyway...I realize the title makes this sound like I am about to give another deep post about things I've learned about myself and all of that...but it's not. It's more humorous; however, I really do believe the things I'm about to say. Granted, I'm all for the "you do you" mantra (in the sense that you should do what you like to do and not worry about what others think), but I have noticed that for the sake of society, some things should be done (or not)
Presented below...5 things we should avoid:
1) Listening to music with headphones while driving
It's sad how often I see people doing this, and it just seems unsafe. Granted, I realize cars and traffic are fairly loud, but it's so easy to zone out while wearing those. Plus, cars have stereo systems that are probably better quality...
2) Sitting on the lap of your significant other while in public
Yes, you two are cute together. But I DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS. I know that's not comfortable, and it's all being done as a sensual sort of thing. It's just awkward-maybe I'm oversensitive, but to me, it comes off as "I just wanna go punch the monkey with this person RIGHT NOW, but we're at the mall and this is the closest I can get without getting a nice misdemeanor" . If you want to do this at home or a friends house where you are all friends, go for it. But not at the pool or whatever. Please.
3) Holding up a line by making small talk with the worker helping you
One of the best parts of going to the East Coast to see family is that you generally don't deal with this. Why? Because it's socially unacceptable and I promise you'll get yelled at for it by other patrons. However, Colorado is a bit slower-paced and friendly and this is acceptable. Why can't we just order our coffee, pay the bill, and MOVE ON SO THE NEXT PERSON CAN ORDER AND NOT BE LATE TO WORK WHILE YOU SHARE THE STORY OF HOW YOUR KID DREW SUCH A CUTE PICTURE OF A BUTTERFLY. Ugh. I know the counter to this is that it's nice for the servers, but here's the thing: they're not going to remember you. They will remember the stress of the super long and backed up line you made, however. I'm all for being nice to the cashier-but by I mean saying "please" "thank you" knowing what you want when it's your turn, etc. Not telling a story that is likely boring to them. End rant.
4) Pretending you don't have any stupid guilty pleasures.
I say pretending because it's all a ruse. EVERYONE HAS ONE. Or two...or maybe three. I wish people would just admit them. It's kind of a fun conversation topic, and who knows, maybe the person you're talking to has the same one. Hey, now you have someone to gossip about Keeping Up With the Kardashians with! Case in point: I actually now enjoy Justin Bieber's music and find the gossip about him fun to follow. Yes, he's crazy. Oh well. Judge me all you want. But you have a guilty pleasure too. This world would be so much better if people were open about this and not overly pretentious.
5) Sit right next to someone on public transportation when there is still a lot of open sitting space left
PERSONAL. BOUNDARIES. And it just seems odd. I realize the bus is likely to get full and I will have to have sitting right by me eventually...but not now. Now stop creeping on my phone and sit over there.
If this was at all entertaining, let me know and I"ll do a part 2. I'm just too tired to do more than five. Also, feel free to share your thoughts-if you think these are great and that I should become the next Mindy Kaling or something, or if I"m a psycho that needs to stop :).
Night!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Some important things about friendship
Hola!
I've been thinking a lot about things I have learned about friendship recently...and today is Friendship Day, so it's perfect timing. I think part of the reason that this is happening is because this August has some big things. Today I met one of my best friends 10 years ago exactly, and this month two of my closest college friends are leaving the U.S. to do some great things. I will miss both dearly, but the opportunities they have are amazing and I'm excited to see how those turn out. :)
(I wanted to post a picture of minion friends-I haven't done a minion picture for a few posts-but the internet and computer I'm using are on their last limbs so just getting this posted is gonna be hard, without trying to put in a picture. Sorry :( )
Anyway, there are two things about friendship in particular that I've been reflecting on that I want to share.
The first is a lesson that has been a struggle for me throughout my life but I think I may finally be learning it. It's about quality versus quantity. Yes, most of my life I have had a couple of friends that I have considered to be my "best friends" if you will...and they are amazing. However, selfishly...that has not been enough for me. In my life I have felt this need to have the most friends, to be considered "popular". I admit, there were some points in school where I was the "desparate wannabe"...hanging around the cool kids hoping that they would accept me and I would get to partake in that popularity, ignoring the fact that many of them wanted nothing to do with me, and made a fool of myself trying to fit in. Worst of all, there are a couple of times where I threw real (but not as cool) friends under the bus to get those other people to accept me. How successful was I? Not at all. Generally, I have felt lonelier after. Most of the real friends I had at those times took me back, but it wasn't an easy process.
In college I had a similar feeling: that because I didn't have 938948392840, I was a loser, or something like that. This feeling trickled into my first year in the "real world" as well. Recently, it has really started to hit exactly how lonely that life is: sure, you may have a ton of friends, but you don't get the chance to know your friends as well. In turn, people don't have time to get to know you. Then, when you need a friend to rely on..they aren't there. In my case, there are those people there, but I've looked for more and sometimes taken those people for granted. This is stopping now. I have been learning who my true friends are and will stick with them. I still like having other people as acquaintances, but I'm excited to start really treasuring friendships with people that matter. For those in a similar situation...being the most popular person is generally not all it's cracked up to be-at least from what I have observed.
The second thing I wanted to talk about was something I've been hearing recently from a few people (none of whom know each other-kind of crazy how universal some issues are at times). It's about the give and take in friendship, particularly as we are settling into life after college. A few people I know have shared with me how since they've graduated, they feel like their friends are pulling away-not responding to outreaches of friendship, or making efforts of their own. In some cases, this may be justified. If a friendship is starting to feel more like work than anything...it's time to let it go. However, my thought in a lot of these cases (and anyone that knows me is going to be shocked that I am saying this): just relax and let things happen naturally. I feel awkward giving this advice, as I get anxious (sometimes very openly) when certain people don't text back in 3 hours (mostly guys I like, and yes this isn't a good way to handle this, but it's a story for another day). But what I have noticed is that while I don't stay in touch with many of my close friends as much as I did in college (going from daily interaction to weekly or monthly), we are still okay. When I go to see them...it is like we have picked up where we left off. Some people I have drifted apart from, and that's okay too. You have to let go of those people so that there is room for you to develop amazing friendships with new people. And yes, you will find great friends after college-they may be different and have different life stories and may even be not actually your age-but it's okay. Life needs to have spontaneity to some degree. Plus, in a friendship, just like a romantic relationship, sometimes you will be giving more, and sometimes they will-it's not always even. This is okay too. So to my friends that have shared this issue with me, and others having this: don't worry about it too much. With all of the adult responsibilities we have, it's too much to expect the same type of communication we had in college. It'll work itself out and if you listen to your instincts, you'll figure out which friendships will last. Some will be predictable, and some will surprise you. Embrace it.
Hope you take something from these thoughts. And go hug a friend. :) Until next time!
I've been thinking a lot about things I have learned about friendship recently...and today is Friendship Day, so it's perfect timing. I think part of the reason that this is happening is because this August has some big things. Today I met one of my best friends 10 years ago exactly, and this month two of my closest college friends are leaving the U.S. to do some great things. I will miss both dearly, but the opportunities they have are amazing and I'm excited to see how those turn out. :)
(I wanted to post a picture of minion friends-I haven't done a minion picture for a few posts-but the internet and computer I'm using are on their last limbs so just getting this posted is gonna be hard, without trying to put in a picture. Sorry :( )
Anyway, there are two things about friendship in particular that I've been reflecting on that I want to share.
The first is a lesson that has been a struggle for me throughout my life but I think I may finally be learning it. It's about quality versus quantity. Yes, most of my life I have had a couple of friends that I have considered to be my "best friends" if you will...and they are amazing. However, selfishly...that has not been enough for me. In my life I have felt this need to have the most friends, to be considered "popular". I admit, there were some points in school where I was the "desparate wannabe"...hanging around the cool kids hoping that they would accept me and I would get to partake in that popularity, ignoring the fact that many of them wanted nothing to do with me, and made a fool of myself trying to fit in. Worst of all, there are a couple of times where I threw real (but not as cool) friends under the bus to get those other people to accept me. How successful was I? Not at all. Generally, I have felt lonelier after. Most of the real friends I had at those times took me back, but it wasn't an easy process.
In college I had a similar feeling: that because I didn't have 938948392840, I was a loser, or something like that. This feeling trickled into my first year in the "real world" as well. Recently, it has really started to hit exactly how lonely that life is: sure, you may have a ton of friends, but you don't get the chance to know your friends as well. In turn, people don't have time to get to know you. Then, when you need a friend to rely on..they aren't there. In my case, there are those people there, but I've looked for more and sometimes taken those people for granted. This is stopping now. I have been learning who my true friends are and will stick with them. I still like having other people as acquaintances, but I'm excited to start really treasuring friendships with people that matter. For those in a similar situation...being the most popular person is generally not all it's cracked up to be-at least from what I have observed.
The second thing I wanted to talk about was something I've been hearing recently from a few people (none of whom know each other-kind of crazy how universal some issues are at times). It's about the give and take in friendship, particularly as we are settling into life after college. A few people I know have shared with me how since they've graduated, they feel like their friends are pulling away-not responding to outreaches of friendship, or making efforts of their own. In some cases, this may be justified. If a friendship is starting to feel more like work than anything...it's time to let it go. However, my thought in a lot of these cases (and anyone that knows me is going to be shocked that I am saying this): just relax and let things happen naturally. I feel awkward giving this advice, as I get anxious (sometimes very openly) when certain people don't text back in 3 hours (mostly guys I like, and yes this isn't a good way to handle this, but it's a story for another day). But what I have noticed is that while I don't stay in touch with many of my close friends as much as I did in college (going from daily interaction to weekly or monthly), we are still okay. When I go to see them...it is like we have picked up where we left off. Some people I have drifted apart from, and that's okay too. You have to let go of those people so that there is room for you to develop amazing friendships with new people. And yes, you will find great friends after college-they may be different and have different life stories and may even be not actually your age-but it's okay. Life needs to have spontaneity to some degree. Plus, in a friendship, just like a romantic relationship, sometimes you will be giving more, and sometimes they will-it's not always even. This is okay too. So to my friends that have shared this issue with me, and others having this: don't worry about it too much. With all of the adult responsibilities we have, it's too much to expect the same type of communication we had in college. It'll work itself out and if you listen to your instincts, you'll figure out which friendships will last. Some will be predictable, and some will surprise you. Embrace it.
Hope you take something from these thoughts. And go hug a friend. :) Until next time!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Taking life one step at a time
I apologize for not updating this in a long time...life has been crazy. Which is what this post is about. Not my life specifically, but things I have noticed about life for most of my post-grad friends.
Lately, I have been hearing a common theme when I talk to my friends and peers about life. There is a plague of uncertainty and fear of failure hanging in the air. I think this stems from a couple of things. First, this is seen (and somewhat correct) "make it or break it" point of our lives: what we do in these next few years sets the tone for our adult lives. We can either seize every opportunity we can to learn and grow and to constantly improve, setting and achieving goal after goal (career, love, or otherwise). This is when we will thrive and tend to obtain a longer-lasting sense of happiness and fulfillment. Or, we can sit around, thinking the opportunity we are waiting for is just around the corner...except it's not...it's here...now...and if it isn't noticed now, it's easy to miss and hard to get back.
This is where the fear of failure comes into play. In most people's cases (at least of the people I am close with), they want to be happy and to lead driven, purposeful lives. But the fear of failure is so strong that it stagnates that growth. Part of this, I think, is due to the fact that for many of us, this is the first time that we are solely responsible for our achievements (or lack thereof). In high school, achievements are primarily those of the individual, but parents, teachers, mentors, etc. also share some credit. They are looking out for the individual and will often be a "safety net" to prevent failure. College is very similar. In college, the idea that you can go out and change the world and anything is possible is very powerful-which is wonderful. However, oftentimes professors, advisors, and other faculty make it seem easier than it actually is, and that the world is ready to embrace these changes simply because they are the right thing to embrace. However, many of us that have graduated are learning the real world often isn't like that: there are many people who are completely okay with being stagnant in their lives and unwilling to accept change. Additionally, changing the world is very challenging. This reality can be overwhelming, which makes many give up completely because it seems impossible to do anything.
This applies to situations in everyday life as well: in one's career and relationships, and other aspects of life that are considered important. People start out with idealistic visions: to be a successful doctor, to be happily married with children, to obtain college friendships after everyone has gone separate ways. However, people soon realize that there are many steps between where they are at the beginning and the end result, which scares people into not trying at all, or going about their goals in ways that will not provide a lot of success.
I will admit now that I am guilty of this: I tend to get frustrated when I don't see the "quick result" of a goal. I see people that have achieved what I want to achieve, and get frustrated that I can't duplicate what they are presently doing, and tend to be self-destructive in my chances of succeeding in my goal, or not doing it at all.
So, what can we do to start achieving our goals, big or small? A solution that I like is by taking things one step at a time. It's still important to keep the ultimate goal in sight, but that will only be achieved by making smaller goals and constantly reaching those-one at a time, building up to the result you want. If it's being able to run a half marathon-start by running two miles without stopping. Wanting to be in a relationship with someone-start by talking to them and getting to know them. If you want a promotion-start by finishing current tasks with efficiency and high quality work. Maybe it's slower than you would like, but I am of the mind set that anything worth having takes effort-something that is very difficult to remember in today's instantaneous society.
This is not just advice for you, but for myself. If you're like me at all, it will be frustrating. But I think in the end it's worth it. Going out and achieving your goals and dreams on your own is very satisfying. Now is the perfect time to do this-so let's get started.
Lately, I have been hearing a common theme when I talk to my friends and peers about life. There is a plague of uncertainty and fear of failure hanging in the air. I think this stems from a couple of things. First, this is seen (and somewhat correct) "make it or break it" point of our lives: what we do in these next few years sets the tone for our adult lives. We can either seize every opportunity we can to learn and grow and to constantly improve, setting and achieving goal after goal (career, love, or otherwise). This is when we will thrive and tend to obtain a longer-lasting sense of happiness and fulfillment. Or, we can sit around, thinking the opportunity we are waiting for is just around the corner...except it's not...it's here...now...and if it isn't noticed now, it's easy to miss and hard to get back.
This is where the fear of failure comes into play. In most people's cases (at least of the people I am close with), they want to be happy and to lead driven, purposeful lives. But the fear of failure is so strong that it stagnates that growth. Part of this, I think, is due to the fact that for many of us, this is the first time that we are solely responsible for our achievements (or lack thereof). In high school, achievements are primarily those of the individual, but parents, teachers, mentors, etc. also share some credit. They are looking out for the individual and will often be a "safety net" to prevent failure. College is very similar. In college, the idea that you can go out and change the world and anything is possible is very powerful-which is wonderful. However, oftentimes professors, advisors, and other faculty make it seem easier than it actually is, and that the world is ready to embrace these changes simply because they are the right thing to embrace. However, many of us that have graduated are learning the real world often isn't like that: there are many people who are completely okay with being stagnant in their lives and unwilling to accept change. Additionally, changing the world is very challenging. This reality can be overwhelming, which makes many give up completely because it seems impossible to do anything.
This applies to situations in everyday life as well: in one's career and relationships, and other aspects of life that are considered important. People start out with idealistic visions: to be a successful doctor, to be happily married with children, to obtain college friendships after everyone has gone separate ways. However, people soon realize that there are many steps between where they are at the beginning and the end result, which scares people into not trying at all, or going about their goals in ways that will not provide a lot of success.
I will admit now that I am guilty of this: I tend to get frustrated when I don't see the "quick result" of a goal. I see people that have achieved what I want to achieve, and get frustrated that I can't duplicate what they are presently doing, and tend to be self-destructive in my chances of succeeding in my goal, or not doing it at all.
So, what can we do to start achieving our goals, big or small? A solution that I like is by taking things one step at a time. It's still important to keep the ultimate goal in sight, but that will only be achieved by making smaller goals and constantly reaching those-one at a time, building up to the result you want. If it's being able to run a half marathon-start by running two miles without stopping. Wanting to be in a relationship with someone-start by talking to them and getting to know them. If you want a promotion-start by finishing current tasks with efficiency and high quality work. Maybe it's slower than you would like, but I am of the mind set that anything worth having takes effort-something that is very difficult to remember in today's instantaneous society.
This is not just advice for you, but for myself. If you're like me at all, it will be frustrating. But I think in the end it's worth it. Going out and achieving your goals and dreams on your own is very satisfying. Now is the perfect time to do this-so let's get started.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
29 Things Twentysomethings need to Stop Worrying About Now...versus reality
Since I wrote a fairly depressing piece earlier this week, I am doing a semi humorous one now. So today I found an article on the Cosmo twitter page titled "29 Things Twentysomethings Need to Stop Worrying About Now". I admit, I am a sucker for these articles. I read them all. I wanted to see how many of them applied to me....and it was most of them, as I am sure many of you could guess. I could counter almost all of these-maybe it shows that I have some serious emotional issues, but hey. Below are the 29 things the article says we should NOT worry about...with how my reality actually is.
(but first, if you want the article, here it is: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/_mobile/celebrity/news/twentysomethings-stop-worrying
1. Keeping Up with What the Youngs are into: Okay, yes, some of it is stupid, and having a crush on Austin Mahone at my age seems a little creepy. But I'm not ready to be like my coworkers who have no clue what is happening with the Biebs. Not that he is my favorite...but it's the principle of the idea. I just can't yet.
2. What your friends have achieved relative to what you have achieved. Okay, go hang out with your friends who have moved to exciting places or have an income big enough for them to comfortably pay student loans, and listen to everyone gush on them. Then tell me that again. Granted, I like my job, but the pay and city are less than desirable.
3. Whether you've reached the goals in the appropriate timeframe that you dreamed up when you were 16 or even younger. Again, this might be easier if I didn't move back to where I was at 16. Regardless, I still wish I was top of my class at Harvard Law with 5 different beautiful men trying to get me to be theirs. Oh, and have awesome clothes.
4. Finding a boyfriend, if you're single. Easier said than done when it seems like everyone has someone (even people that you think have more issues than you), and you are surrounded by people 10 hours a day that think that you are a sorry person since you're 23 and not married. Is this The Help? WHY DO YOU JUDGE ME??
5. Settling down, if you're dating. N/A
6. Spending a crapload of money on travel. I wish, but I don't want to either sell myself on the streets at night/put myself in even more debt. Plus I'm pretty sure I could not get 9 days off as a new(ish) employee.
7. Spending a crapload of money on brunch. It is fun. As long as I can eat the rest of the week, I guess I can let this one go.
8. Being too addicted to social media. Well, at least it's not crack. But I might have fewer anxiety problems if I got away from this sometims.
9. Literally anything that has to do with text messages. The agony I put myself through this will probably give me a heart attack in 5 years. Not being responded to is one of the worst things.
10. Not making it to all of the parties you meant to go to. But if I start skipping, I might stop getting invited...and then I would have no one but Netflix. But Netflix is cool.
11. Decorating your apartment like a Grown Ass Woman. Oh the things I'll buy when I have a real income...until then, my roomie is awesome and her decor allows me to mask this. Just dn't go in my room.
12. Being skinnier. For me personally, I dub this #coloradoprobs. Where sometimes it seems like you are a fatty if you have more than 15% body fat and eat meat and processed foods (this is more true in Boulder).
13. Skipping yoga a few times. My work friend is trying to get me to go. I want to but I'm always busy or tired. One day...but I'm a horrible friend.
14. Feeling ashamed for temporarily living with your parents. (hides behind a bush) Go to the article to understand why. Live and learn right?
15. Not having plans on Friday or Saturday night. Again, not ready to be like my older co-workers...or worse, there's a couple that ALWAYS are out at dance clubs...and then I just feel sad.
16. Forgetting math. I'm kind of okay with this.
17. Sleeping with too many people. I don't do this, but it's because I don't want to be a slut. Plus I get too attached too quickly so this would just become a disaster. I do have a limit on the anxiety I will take, oddly enough.
18. Occasionally getting as drunk as you used to in college. I'm more concerned that my alcohol tolerance level is slowly but surely decreasing now that I can't get drunk multiple nights a week every week...once, I got drunk off of two glasses of wine. That was sad.
19. Still transitioning from "college wardrobe" to "on-trend young professional wardrobe". Yeah...I definitley blew a lot of savings on trying to do this. Still regret it.
20. What other people think about things that make you happy. First, that could have been worded better. Second, but doesn't knowing that others are judging you take the fun out of it for you?
21. Finding the career field you'll be working in for the rest of your life. As long as I have some direction in my early thirties...I'm good I guess.
22. How many friends you have. I'm actually becoming more okay with this. I'm learning that having fewer friends but ones that care about you is way better. I'm not a complete lost cause!
23. Losing touch with old friends you don't have fun with anymore. Getting better at this too-nice. But still...I hate being the one to end things.
24. When your boyfriend will propose. Oh, you thought I had a boyfriend? awesome!
25. Be
(but first, if you want the article, here it is: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/_mobile/celebrity/news/twentysomethings-stop-worrying
1. Keeping Up with What the Youngs are into: Okay, yes, some of it is stupid, and having a crush on Austin Mahone at my age seems a little creepy. But I'm not ready to be like my coworkers who have no clue what is happening with the Biebs. Not that he is my favorite...but it's the principle of the idea. I just can't yet.
2. What your friends have achieved relative to what you have achieved. Okay, go hang out with your friends who have moved to exciting places or have an income big enough for them to comfortably pay student loans, and listen to everyone gush on them. Then tell me that again. Granted, I like my job, but the pay and city are less than desirable.
3. Whether you've reached the goals in the appropriate timeframe that you dreamed up when you were 16 or even younger. Again, this might be easier if I didn't move back to where I was at 16. Regardless, I still wish I was top of my class at Harvard Law with 5 different beautiful men trying to get me to be theirs. Oh, and have awesome clothes.
4. Finding a boyfriend, if you're single. Easier said than done when it seems like everyone has someone (even people that you think have more issues than you), and you are surrounded by people 10 hours a day that think that you are a sorry person since you're 23 and not married. Is this The Help? WHY DO YOU JUDGE ME??
5. Settling down, if you're dating. N/A
6. Spending a crapload of money on travel. I wish, but I don't want to either sell myself on the streets at night/put myself in even more debt. Plus I'm pretty sure I could not get 9 days off as a new(ish) employee.
7. Spending a crapload of money on brunch. It is fun. As long as I can eat the rest of the week, I guess I can let this one go.
8. Being too addicted to social media. Well, at least it's not crack. But I might have fewer anxiety problems if I got away from this sometims.
9. Literally anything that has to do with text messages. The agony I put myself through this will probably give me a heart attack in 5 years. Not being responded to is one of the worst things.
10. Not making it to all of the parties you meant to go to. But if I start skipping, I might stop getting invited...and then I would have no one but Netflix. But Netflix is cool.
11. Decorating your apartment like a Grown Ass Woman. Oh the things I'll buy when I have a real income...until then, my roomie is awesome and her decor allows me to mask this. Just dn't go in my room.
12. Being skinnier. For me personally, I dub this #coloradoprobs. Where sometimes it seems like you are a fatty if you have more than 15% body fat and eat meat and processed foods (this is more true in Boulder).
13. Skipping yoga a few times. My work friend is trying to get me to go. I want to but I'm always busy or tired. One day...but I'm a horrible friend.
14. Feeling ashamed for temporarily living with your parents. (hides behind a bush) Go to the article to understand why. Live and learn right?
15. Not having plans on Friday or Saturday night. Again, not ready to be like my older co-workers...or worse, there's a couple that ALWAYS are out at dance clubs...and then I just feel sad.
16. Forgetting math. I'm kind of okay with this.
17. Sleeping with too many people. I don't do this, but it's because I don't want to be a slut. Plus I get too attached too quickly so this would just become a disaster. I do have a limit on the anxiety I will take, oddly enough.
18. Occasionally getting as drunk as you used to in college. I'm more concerned that my alcohol tolerance level is slowly but surely decreasing now that I can't get drunk multiple nights a week every week...once, I got drunk off of two glasses of wine. That was sad.
19. Still transitioning from "college wardrobe" to "on-trend young professional wardrobe". Yeah...I definitley blew a lot of savings on trying to do this. Still regret it.
20. What other people think about things that make you happy. First, that could have been worded better. Second, but doesn't knowing that others are judging you take the fun out of it for you?
21. Finding the career field you'll be working in for the rest of your life. As long as I have some direction in my early thirties...I'm good I guess.
22. How many friends you have. I'm actually becoming more okay with this. I'm learning that having fewer friends but ones that care about you is way better. I'm not a complete lost cause!
23. Losing touch with old friends you don't have fun with anymore. Getting better at this too-nice. But still...I hate being the one to end things.
24. When your boyfriend will propose. Oh, you thought I had a boyfriend? awesome!
25. Be
Monday, March 10, 2014
Getting out and escaping: #20somethingproblems
I used the hashtag in the title to demonstrate the irony/humor in this post. It is so common for twenty somethings to be unhappy with where they are, where they grew up, and feeling a need to start somewhere new. I am among this group of people. This isn't necessarily a new feeling, but it is one that really hit hard for me today.
The last several weeks have had a lot of drama and big changes in my life. This includes family, work, friends, and relationships. In a sense, it feels like many aspects of my life are falling apart. Some of it I have no control over and am forced to just watch it happen. In other cases, it is more or less my fault-for trusting and believing in people I do not know, and then being upset when it backfires on me. For whatever reason, it has made me realize how much I need to get out of this town that has been home for most of my life (excluding college).
In some ways, I feel bad for saying this. Colorado Springs is a beautiful place, and there are some parts that are really cool. I am near some people that I am very close to, which I am thankful for. However...it's not enough anymore. Too many of the people I love are no longer here. More importantly, there is a mentality in the majority of the people here that I just can't embrace. It's hard to explain, but it's easy to feel. It is time for a new adventure, to start somewhere new. I will have to make new friends, but it is time for that. I can't just sit and watch life go by. It's time to start creating opportunities for myself-opportunities where my happiness can grow.
The last several weeks have had a lot of drama and big changes in my life. This includes family, work, friends, and relationships. In a sense, it feels like many aspects of my life are falling apart. Some of it I have no control over and am forced to just watch it happen. In other cases, it is more or less my fault-for trusting and believing in people I do not know, and then being upset when it backfires on me. For whatever reason, it has made me realize how much I need to get out of this town that has been home for most of my life (excluding college).
In some ways, I feel bad for saying this. Colorado Springs is a beautiful place, and there are some parts that are really cool. I am near some people that I am very close to, which I am thankful for. However...it's not enough anymore. Too many of the people I love are no longer here. More importantly, there is a mentality in the majority of the people here that I just can't embrace. It's hard to explain, but it's easy to feel. It is time for a new adventure, to start somewhere new. I will have to make new friends, but it is time for that. I can't just sit and watch life go by. It's time to start creating opportunities for myself-opportunities where my happiness can grow.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Brene Brown's "The Power of Vulnerability"; struggling to accept a really powerful life lesson
Hello children!
So I haven't written in awhile and I'm sorry. Holidays, craziness and lack of ideas. I would get an idea but it would just float away. But then a Facebook post and comment thread between some of my closest friends inspired me.
So the title-it is an amazing TED talk that was shown to me back in August. For me, it was really powerful. Part of it was because I was at a vulnerable point in my life, and also because it just really hit home at a personal struggle I have had for as long as I can remember. First, you should watch the video. It's 20 minutes but it is so worth the time. Here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
To sum up (if you don't have time to watch it right now-but you really should make time soon); a basic human struggle is allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable; without that vulnerability, we are sort of living a half-life. Doing things like waiting for a certain call from the doctor, or the feeling before taking a huge risk-it scares many people; but learning to accept that in your life-while it will result in sadness and rejection at times, it makes the good news and events so much more exciting and life is far more fulfilling than hiding behind an iron curtain, emotionally.
I have a huge problem with this; I will admit that I tend to avoid situation and learning some things because I am so terrified of a bad result; however, that lends me to live a life of fear, and one where I am depriving myself of the possibility of the most fulfilling type of life. Listening to this talk the first time made me realize this; I watched it again, and a third time, within as many days. I was determined to stop this cycle.
I revisited this video a few months later, and again today. Unfortunately, this fear of vulnerability still lives with me every day, and I hate it; but throwing this curtain to the side seems like an impossible task. After a lot of praying and meditation, I know this is what God is asking me to do; but it seems like too much.
There have been a few occasions where I have "slipped" and allowed that vulnerability to come through. But then I get scared and run back. I become afraid that the people that saw that will dislike the person they just saw-that I am weak and need to become an adult and not let anything get to me.
It does worry me that in this subconscious determination to remain behind the iron curtain, I am distancing myself from the people I love, as well as preventing new people from coming in. I know that by being brave and allowing myself to be exposed emotionally, no matter what the result is, will start letting me live a more fulfilling life. But why can't I let myself do it? Why is this fear so paralyzing?
If you are waiting for my epiphany...keep waiting. Unfortunately, it is not something I have discovered yet. Hopefully soon. In the meantime, prayer and meditation, and a newly found exercise routine, have been helping me gather strength, both physically and emotionally. Maybe one day soon it will come to me.
So I haven't written in awhile and I'm sorry. Holidays, craziness and lack of ideas. I would get an idea but it would just float away. But then a Facebook post and comment thread between some of my closest friends inspired me.
So the title-it is an amazing TED talk that was shown to me back in August. For me, it was really powerful. Part of it was because I was at a vulnerable point in my life, and also because it just really hit home at a personal struggle I have had for as long as I can remember. First, you should watch the video. It's 20 minutes but it is so worth the time. Here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
To sum up (if you don't have time to watch it right now-but you really should make time soon); a basic human struggle is allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable; without that vulnerability, we are sort of living a half-life. Doing things like waiting for a certain call from the doctor, or the feeling before taking a huge risk-it scares many people; but learning to accept that in your life-while it will result in sadness and rejection at times, it makes the good news and events so much more exciting and life is far more fulfilling than hiding behind an iron curtain, emotionally.
I have a huge problem with this; I will admit that I tend to avoid situation and learning some things because I am so terrified of a bad result; however, that lends me to live a life of fear, and one where I am depriving myself of the possibility of the most fulfilling type of life. Listening to this talk the first time made me realize this; I watched it again, and a third time, within as many days. I was determined to stop this cycle.
I revisited this video a few months later, and again today. Unfortunately, this fear of vulnerability still lives with me every day, and I hate it; but throwing this curtain to the side seems like an impossible task. After a lot of praying and meditation, I know this is what God is asking me to do; but it seems like too much.
There have been a few occasions where I have "slipped" and allowed that vulnerability to come through. But then I get scared and run back. I become afraid that the people that saw that will dislike the person they just saw-that I am weak and need to become an adult and not let anything get to me.
It does worry me that in this subconscious determination to remain behind the iron curtain, I am distancing myself from the people I love, as well as preventing new people from coming in. I know that by being brave and allowing myself to be exposed emotionally, no matter what the result is, will start letting me live a more fulfilling life. But why can't I let myself do it? Why is this fear so paralyzing?
If you are waiting for my epiphany...keep waiting. Unfortunately, it is not something I have discovered yet. Hopefully soon. In the meantime, prayer and meditation, and a newly found exercise routine, have been helping me gather strength, both physically and emotionally. Maybe one day soon it will come to me.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Rants on Education...finally
Hello everybody!
So after last weeks very personal and challenging post, I am going to make it less personal this week...but not really, when you think about it, because education affects everyone, even if you are done with school (temporarily, like myself, or forever). I'm finally doing my education post! Huzzah! Who's ready for some ranting?
So, to get an idea of some of my ideas on education, I will post two things that back up my thoughts. The first is an article from Buzzfeed about dumb things people say about teachers. Here is the link:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/antwaunsargent/lies-people-tell-about-teaching-that-simply-arent-true
Some of these....wow. Maybe I'm biased because I have a mom for a teacher, and many friends who are in education (including the one I live with), but...I don't think so. General rants about teacher pay:
First, teachers really do spend a lot of their own money for their own classrooms. Like even upwards of a few hundred dollars a year. That includes curriculum books, classroom things, conference fees (yes, oftentimes those aren't fully compensated, or at all). Maybe this is just the office I work in, but the only money people spend from their paycheck that goes towards the work place is bringing food for the monthly birthday lunches, or if you want a special fancy office chair or something (although some of those get covered). And I'm thankful for that.
Second....teachers really do work a lot outside the 8-hour day. Is the time before and after school helping kids or running after school programs or time spent grading or planning curriculum during weekends and holidays paid? Pretty much no. And if your office is anything like mine, people gripe about lack of compensation for a half hour or hour of overtime they did in a week.
Third....this is mostly about Colorado teachers, so I apologize to my out of state buddies. If you look at the article and click the link on average teacher salary, you'll see Colorado is on the low end, but not the worst, so maybe you're thinking, "hey, it could be worse...it's not like we're in South Dakota or Montana." The problem with that is their cost of living is much lower, because it's a lot more rural (aka no one lives there-no offense if you live there, but if you are, isn't that probably a reason you do live there?) Colorado's cost of living is average on paper, but that's factoring in places like the eastern plains and mountain towns (the ones that are away from the ski resorts), where again, not many people live-about 85% of Colorado lives between Fort Collins and Pueblo. And on the front range, the cost of living is pretty high (coming from friends that have lived in other states-and if you live in Boulder, which is pretty awful). Many teachers struggle to make ends meet, and that's just sad.
Alright. Second aspect to this article. The failure our high school systems in preparing us for college.
Here is an amazing TED talk that articulates my point very well.
http://youtu.be/GZVxA0J5g28
Basically...many schools teach students to take a test. This benefits the school because they get more money. This hurts students, especially those wanting to go on to college. Pure memorization will get you through maybe a year of college. Two if you are lucky. Once you hit upper division courses, that won't get you A's and B's anymore. You have to know how to think critically and apply knowledge to everyday situations. It sounds easy, but it's not. College dropout rates will tell you that. I am really glad I took AP courses in high school-those classes did prepare me for college-not just due to difficulty, but also helping me learn...well, how to learn. My best teachers didn't tell me what to see; they simply pointed out the starting point. Many of my CU professors did the same. Those are the best teachers.
In direct response to the TED talk...extracurriculars teach students so many things. They teach sportsmanship, teamwork, how to set goals, and subtly reinforce things taught in "regular" classes. Is it a coincidence that the students with the highest grades were in music or sports? No.
Also...if a dean at MIT is telling schools they need to put more emphasis on extracurriculars and a tad less on pure academia...you're doing it wrong. Schools like MIT WANT to see that involvement. Why? Because they know that's where so much of a person's education comes from. And it sets students apart.
A final thought on why people should care about teachers and education: those people will see your children more than you do. The majority of their waking hours is at school. Caring about kids lives means caring about the education they get.
So...that is my education rant for now. It is a bit rudimentary, but it's a subject I feel strongly about. Without a good education, our society will not survive. Period.
So after last weeks very personal and challenging post, I am going to make it less personal this week...but not really, when you think about it, because education affects everyone, even if you are done with school (temporarily, like myself, or forever). I'm finally doing my education post! Huzzah! Who's ready for some ranting?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/antwaunsargent/lies-people-tell-about-teaching-that-simply-arent-true
Some of these....wow. Maybe I'm biased because I have a mom for a teacher, and many friends who are in education (including the one I live with), but...I don't think so. General rants about teacher pay:
First, teachers really do spend a lot of their own money for their own classrooms. Like even upwards of a few hundred dollars a year. That includes curriculum books, classroom things, conference fees (yes, oftentimes those aren't fully compensated, or at all). Maybe this is just the office I work in, but the only money people spend from their paycheck that goes towards the work place is bringing food for the monthly birthday lunches, or if you want a special fancy office chair or something (although some of those get covered). And I'm thankful for that.
Second....teachers really do work a lot outside the 8-hour day. Is the time before and after school helping kids or running after school programs or time spent grading or planning curriculum during weekends and holidays paid? Pretty much no. And if your office is anything like mine, people gripe about lack of compensation for a half hour or hour of overtime they did in a week.
Third....this is mostly about Colorado teachers, so I apologize to my out of state buddies. If you look at the article and click the link on average teacher salary, you'll see Colorado is on the low end, but not the worst, so maybe you're thinking, "hey, it could be worse...it's not like we're in South Dakota or Montana." The problem with that is their cost of living is much lower, because it's a lot more rural (aka no one lives there-no offense if you live there, but if you are, isn't that probably a reason you do live there?) Colorado's cost of living is average on paper, but that's factoring in places like the eastern plains and mountain towns (the ones that are away from the ski resorts), where again, not many people live-about 85% of Colorado lives between Fort Collins and Pueblo. And on the front range, the cost of living is pretty high (coming from friends that have lived in other states-and if you live in Boulder, which is pretty awful). Many teachers struggle to make ends meet, and that's just sad.
Alright. Second aspect to this article. The failure our high school systems in preparing us for college.
Here is an amazing TED talk that articulates my point very well.
http://youtu.be/GZVxA0J5g28
Basically...many schools teach students to take a test. This benefits the school because they get more money. This hurts students, especially those wanting to go on to college. Pure memorization will get you through maybe a year of college. Two if you are lucky. Once you hit upper division courses, that won't get you A's and B's anymore. You have to know how to think critically and apply knowledge to everyday situations. It sounds easy, but it's not. College dropout rates will tell you that. I am really glad I took AP courses in high school-those classes did prepare me for college-not just due to difficulty, but also helping me learn...well, how to learn. My best teachers didn't tell me what to see; they simply pointed out the starting point. Many of my CU professors did the same. Those are the best teachers.
In direct response to the TED talk...extracurriculars teach students so many things. They teach sportsmanship, teamwork, how to set goals, and subtly reinforce things taught in "regular" classes. Is it a coincidence that the students with the highest grades were in music or sports? No.
Also...if a dean at MIT is telling schools they need to put more emphasis on extracurriculars and a tad less on pure academia...you're doing it wrong. Schools like MIT WANT to see that involvement. Why? Because they know that's where so much of a person's education comes from. And it sets students apart.
A final thought on why people should care about teachers and education: those people will see your children more than you do. The majority of their waking hours is at school. Caring about kids lives means caring about the education they get.
So...that is my education rant for now. It is a bit rudimentary, but it's a subject I feel strongly about. Without a good education, our society will not survive. Period.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
I made the wrong choice. And I'm so glad I did.
Hi everyone!
Yes, this post is about education. No it's not my rant about the public's disinterest in education or how high schools and colleges should change to better prepare their students. Not entirely. This is definitely a personal matter, one that unveils a secret that no one knows about me. Until now. It's definitely a shocker, and might intially upset people, but keep reading. It has taken me a long time to admit this to myself, let alone to others but...here goes.
As the title suggests, I made the wrong choice about something. What was that something?
Well, dear reader, that choice was in where I chose to spend four years getting my undergraduate degree. I attended CU Boulder. It is a great school and has a lot to offer.
But for me, personally...it was not the right choice for me.
I realize most of you now have had a similar reaction to the ones below:
And that's understandable. But let's keep reading.
When I was in high school, I never had any desire to go to school in Colorado. I was ready to leave and go on an adventure. Then senior year came. I was seriously considering two schools in Pennsylvania. I was also planning on being a music major, which I changed my mind about around Christmas Break. That took one of the schools out of the running. The other one...well...I never sent the application in, despite loving the school. Why? Because I was afraid. I was afraid to leave a place that had always been my home. Worse, since I had so many relatives in the state, I had places to spend most of my breaks, so I would only be returning to Colorado for a few weeks a year. That scared the shit out of me. So I didn't send the application in, told everyone else the school "wasn't a good fit". Most people bought it. I'm sure a few of my closer friends didn't. That left me with UNC, CSU, and CU. I didn't want to be in Greeley, CSU was too much like LP University, and CU had some really cool programs, so I chose to go to school there.
Over the four years I spent there, I learned a lot-personally and academically, made great friends, made shitty ones too, got really involved in Res Life and had some cool opportunities through that, and a lot more. However, personality-wise, it was never the greatest for me-I didn't feel that click like I did at the schools back East (both were private, liberal arts colleges btw). Most of it was due to what my interests are. Things that I felt I had to hide-partly because I was too insecure to let those different qualities come through, and also because it's different than the 'typical student'. Since graduating, I have been coming to terms with these things, and learning that those qualities are what make me a pretty awesome person. I will list some here for you.
I like meat and eating a diet where I don't cut things out, but try to moderate.
I really don't like pot. I never tried it at CU-the smell alone is too much.
I like skiing and hiking and outdoorsy things to an extent, but I'm not obsessed. I like inside too. Air conditioned gyms are great. So is just chilling at home.
I don't like partying until I pass out, throw up, or whatever. I like having fun at the bars but I don't like the feeling of being out of control.
I like dressing up and putting on makeup and looking pretty when I go out in public. I don't need to dress to the nines just for class, but I like to look nice.
I realize not everyone at CU fits those stereotypes, and there's more things about me I can talk about. But the point is-Boulder isn't the home for me. The school is like that too. The size was a bit much. I got jealous of my friends at smaller schools.
BUT BUT BUT. I am glad I made this mistake. It's like how penicillin was discovered.
Like I stated above, I learned a lot of valuable life lessons while at CU. If I had chosen that other school, I don't know what I would have learned. Maybe the same things, maybe different things. But I took the opportunity to make the best situation I could. That's my second 'confession'-I figured this out while I was still at CU.
I found that close niche by getting involved in Res Life. I learned a lot from that and had opportunities that a smaller school wouldn't have provided, like NACURH. It has proven valuable in job interviews and in life skills in general.
I did make some great friends, and not so great ones. But I'm learning how to tell the difference and the important of making those that care about you back a priority, and forgetting those that don't care.
I had some great classes at CU with some great professors, and graduated with a valuable degree.
Even if I made the wrong 'choice', I still managed to enjoy my four years at CU and learn a lot of valuable life lessons. I have also realized that it's okay to make mistakes, and admit them-like I am right now. I learned to discern what makes me happy and what I need to do to take care of myself. When I one day have to make a big decision again-like grad/law school, a job opportunity, etc.-I can better know what the right decision is, because I have learned how to listen to myself. I am still learning, but I am on that path. Self-discovery is an amazing thing.
So, while going to CU may not have been the best fit for me, I managed to adapt and thrive, and learn how to make a better decision later on in life. If this sounds like you-you can too.
Yes, this post is about education. No it's not my rant about the public's disinterest in education or how high schools and colleges should change to better prepare their students. Not entirely. This is definitely a personal matter, one that unveils a secret that no one knows about me. Until now. It's definitely a shocker, and might intially upset people, but keep reading. It has taken me a long time to admit this to myself, let alone to others but...here goes.
As the title suggests, I made the wrong choice about something. What was that something?
Well, dear reader, that choice was in where I chose to spend four years getting my undergraduate degree. I attended CU Boulder. It is a great school and has a lot to offer.
But for me, personally...it was not the right choice for me.
I realize most of you now have had a similar reaction to the ones below:
When I was in high school, I never had any desire to go to school in Colorado. I was ready to leave and go on an adventure. Then senior year came. I was seriously considering two schools in Pennsylvania. I was also planning on being a music major, which I changed my mind about around Christmas Break. That took one of the schools out of the running. The other one...well...I never sent the application in, despite loving the school. Why? Because I was afraid. I was afraid to leave a place that had always been my home. Worse, since I had so many relatives in the state, I had places to spend most of my breaks, so I would only be returning to Colorado for a few weeks a year. That scared the shit out of me. So I didn't send the application in, told everyone else the school "wasn't a good fit". Most people bought it. I'm sure a few of my closer friends didn't. That left me with UNC, CSU, and CU. I didn't want to be in Greeley, CSU was too much like LP University, and CU had some really cool programs, so I chose to go to school there.
Over the four years I spent there, I learned a lot-personally and academically, made great friends, made shitty ones too, got really involved in Res Life and had some cool opportunities through that, and a lot more. However, personality-wise, it was never the greatest for me-I didn't feel that click like I did at the schools back East (both were private, liberal arts colleges btw). Most of it was due to what my interests are. Things that I felt I had to hide-partly because I was too insecure to let those different qualities come through, and also because it's different than the 'typical student'. Since graduating, I have been coming to terms with these things, and learning that those qualities are what make me a pretty awesome person. I will list some here for you.
I like meat and eating a diet where I don't cut things out, but try to moderate.
I really don't like pot. I never tried it at CU-the smell alone is too much.
I like skiing and hiking and outdoorsy things to an extent, but I'm not obsessed. I like inside too. Air conditioned gyms are great. So is just chilling at home.
I don't like partying until I pass out, throw up, or whatever. I like having fun at the bars but I don't like the feeling of being out of control.
I like dressing up and putting on makeup and looking pretty when I go out in public. I don't need to dress to the nines just for class, but I like to look nice.
I realize not everyone at CU fits those stereotypes, and there's more things about me I can talk about. But the point is-Boulder isn't the home for me. The school is like that too. The size was a bit much. I got jealous of my friends at smaller schools.
BUT BUT BUT. I am glad I made this mistake. It's like how penicillin was discovered.
Like I stated above, I learned a lot of valuable life lessons while at CU. If I had chosen that other school, I don't know what I would have learned. Maybe the same things, maybe different things. But I took the opportunity to make the best situation I could. That's my second 'confession'-I figured this out while I was still at CU.
I found that close niche by getting involved in Res Life. I learned a lot from that and had opportunities that a smaller school wouldn't have provided, like NACURH. It has proven valuable in job interviews and in life skills in general.
I did make some great friends, and not so great ones. But I'm learning how to tell the difference and the important of making those that care about you back a priority, and forgetting those that don't care.
I had some great classes at CU with some great professors, and graduated with a valuable degree.
Even if I made the wrong 'choice', I still managed to enjoy my four years at CU and learn a lot of valuable life lessons. I have also realized that it's okay to make mistakes, and admit them-like I am right now. I learned to discern what makes me happy and what I need to do to take care of myself. When I one day have to make a big decision again-like grad/law school, a job opportunity, etc.-I can better know what the right decision is, because I have learned how to listen to myself. I am still learning, but I am on that path. Self-discovery is an amazing thing.
So, while going to CU may not have been the best fit for me, I managed to adapt and thrive, and learn how to make a better decision later on in life. If this sounds like you-you can too.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Ironically I almost hurt myself discovering this epiphany
Hello!
So I know I was going to talk about intellectual stuff like the education system or something for my second post-but I have a life epiphany that I would like to share with you all. And it's not even one I've been thinking about the past few days (which I have been doing). I came up with this about an hour ago while driving and almost ran into a car but I DIDN'T so it's okay.
It kind of encompasses lots of aspects of life, from really important things to little things. Anyway...
My big 'life epiphany' is this: Anything in life worth doing-there's a risk of getting hurt.
If you're reading this and thinking "wow, um...you just figured this out?", well then, maybe I should congratulate you for already knowing. But for me, it really made sense today.
Probably part of what started it was some tragic news I received today. One of my teachers/mentors in high school, Ms. Howard, passed away. As sad as it is, it is sort of beautiful to see all of my high school friends come together-even if its via internet or text or whatever-to remember this amazing person who touched our lives. We're all going our separate ways and live far apart, and may not really speak to some of them outside of Christmas time anymore, but in this, we were brought together. Now, when we were in high school and Ms. Howard was a daily presence and we saw our high school friends every day, none of us would have imagined that just four years after high school, this would happen. We were naive-but that's how life works. But we still enjoyed our time with her and each other as much as if she lived another 50 years. It's sad that she died, but the fact that we are sad shows how much of an impact she had on our lives, and how lucky we were to have a teacher in our lives that cared about us.
This goes for any special relationship; spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, friend, family...whoever is important to you. Those that really matter...they'll make us sad or angry, even before someone dies. They'll betray you, not listen to you, do something you asked them not to, say something negative about someone else you care about-you name it. It'll drive you crazy, and make you almost wish you didn't have those emotions (I have thought that SO many times)-but don't. The fact that they can make you this upset shows how much of an impact on your life. The good has to come with a little bad-it's part of being human. That pain shows that you care about them, and most likely they feel the same-embrace it. Work through what happened and grow in your relationship with them.
I said this applies to more mundane things too. When I was little (and to an extent now), I've been kind of afraid of playing sports like soccer, basketball, etc. I did to appease my parents. But I was so terrified of getting injured. But this epiphany applies to sports and other fun things in life. There's a risk of getting hurt-and it being painful, having to miss out on future things to recover, etc. But people still do those things in droves. Why? Because they are fun enough that it's okay to take that risk of pain. And really, anything fun will. The only way to avoid pain is to hide away and live in a little room...which is kind of impossible, but also really sad.
Of course, too much pain isn't good, and if the main emotion in a relationship is pain and suffering-get out of it. But in order to ENJOY a relationship, and I mean truly enjoy it-be it a sport, vacation, etc., you have to accept that there will be pain. But that's okay. Because it means you're ALIVE. And LIVING. And on the way to bringing happiness to your life.
So I know I was going to talk about intellectual stuff like the education system or something for my second post-but I have a life epiphany that I would like to share with you all. And it's not even one I've been thinking about the past few days (which I have been doing). I came up with this about an hour ago while driving and almost ran into a car but I DIDN'T so it's okay.
My big 'life epiphany' is this: Anything in life worth doing-there's a risk of getting hurt.
If you're reading this and thinking "wow, um...you just figured this out?", well then, maybe I should congratulate you for already knowing. But for me, it really made sense today.
Probably part of what started it was some tragic news I received today. One of my teachers/mentors in high school, Ms. Howard, passed away. As sad as it is, it is sort of beautiful to see all of my high school friends come together-even if its via internet or text or whatever-to remember this amazing person who touched our lives. We're all going our separate ways and live far apart, and may not really speak to some of them outside of Christmas time anymore, but in this, we were brought together. Now, when we were in high school and Ms. Howard was a daily presence and we saw our high school friends every day, none of us would have imagined that just four years after high school, this would happen. We were naive-but that's how life works. But we still enjoyed our time with her and each other as much as if she lived another 50 years. It's sad that she died, but the fact that we are sad shows how much of an impact she had on our lives, and how lucky we were to have a teacher in our lives that cared about us.
This goes for any special relationship; spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, friend, family...whoever is important to you. Those that really matter...they'll make us sad or angry, even before someone dies. They'll betray you, not listen to you, do something you asked them not to, say something negative about someone else you care about-you name it. It'll drive you crazy, and make you almost wish you didn't have those emotions (I have thought that SO many times)-but don't. The fact that they can make you this upset shows how much of an impact on your life. The good has to come with a little bad-it's part of being human. That pain shows that you care about them, and most likely they feel the same-embrace it. Work through what happened and grow in your relationship with them.
I said this applies to more mundane things too. When I was little (and to an extent now), I've been kind of afraid of playing sports like soccer, basketball, etc. I did to appease my parents. But I was so terrified of getting injured. But this epiphany applies to sports and other fun things in life. There's a risk of getting hurt-and it being painful, having to miss out on future things to recover, etc. But people still do those things in droves. Why? Because they are fun enough that it's okay to take that risk of pain. And really, anything fun will. The only way to avoid pain is to hide away and live in a little room...which is kind of impossible, but also really sad.
Of course, too much pain isn't good, and if the main emotion in a relationship is pain and suffering-get out of it. But in order to ENJOY a relationship, and I mean truly enjoy it-be it a sport, vacation, etc., you have to accept that there will be pain. But that's okay. Because it means you're ALIVE. And LIVING. And on the way to bringing happiness to your life.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Yay for blogs and stuff!
Hello!
I love minions so much. I kind of regret not being one for Halloween...oh well.
I have wanted to start one of these crazy things for awhile, but didn't get around to it. Then I saw a really interesting TED talk about the college and high school education system, and I had so many thoughts and opinions on it that I wanted to just ramble on about it as long as I want and maybe talk about it with people. So I decided now was the time. And I will write about it. Probably next time. This is just me saying hey and stuff
So I plan on writing about some current event type issues (I was an International Affairs and Chinese double major at CU Boulder-go Buffs!) as I miss being able to talk about this stuff all the time. I love learning and am missing it a bit after being away from school for 6 months. So some of that will happen.
I'll also write about personal growth and thoughts and feelings-not just about myself, but what i notice in people in general. I think the age I am at now (and most of the people that will read this) are at is one of the most vulnerable and exciting and scary and yeah. So much to talk about.
If you have a blogspot, you should follow me. I will post these to Facebook as well. But for now, it is time to go.
I have wanted to start one of these crazy things for awhile, but didn't get around to it. Then I saw a really interesting TED talk about the college and high school education system, and I had so many thoughts and opinions on it that I wanted to just ramble on about it as long as I want and maybe talk about it with people. So I decided now was the time. And I will write about it. Probably next time. This is just me saying hey and stuff
So I plan on writing about some current event type issues (I was an International Affairs and Chinese double major at CU Boulder-go Buffs!) as I miss being able to talk about this stuff all the time. I love learning and am missing it a bit after being away from school for 6 months. So some of that will happen.
I'll also write about personal growth and thoughts and feelings-not just about myself, but what i notice in people in general. I think the age I am at now (and most of the people that will read this) are at is one of the most vulnerable and exciting and scary and yeah. So much to talk about.
If you have a blogspot, you should follow me. I will post these to Facebook as well. But for now, it is time to go.
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