Yes, this post is about education. No it's not my rant about the public's disinterest in education or how high schools and colleges should change to better prepare their students. Not entirely. This is definitely a personal matter, one that unveils a secret that no one knows about me. Until now. It's definitely a shocker, and might intially upset people, but keep reading. It has taken me a long time to admit this to myself, let alone to others but...here goes.
As the title suggests, I made the wrong choice about something. What was that something?
Well, dear reader, that choice was in where I chose to spend four years getting my undergraduate degree. I attended CU Boulder. It is a great school and has a lot to offer.
But for me, personally...it was not the right choice for me.
I realize most of you now have had a similar reaction to the ones below:
When I was in high school, I never had any desire to go to school in Colorado. I was ready to leave and go on an adventure. Then senior year came. I was seriously considering two schools in Pennsylvania. I was also planning on being a music major, which I changed my mind about around Christmas Break. That took one of the schools out of the running. The other one...well...I never sent the application in, despite loving the school. Why? Because I was afraid. I was afraid to leave a place that had always been my home. Worse, since I had so many relatives in the state, I had places to spend most of my breaks, so I would only be returning to Colorado for a few weeks a year. That scared the shit out of me. So I didn't send the application in, told everyone else the school "wasn't a good fit". Most people bought it. I'm sure a few of my closer friends didn't. That left me with UNC, CSU, and CU. I didn't want to be in Greeley, CSU was too much like LP University, and CU had some really cool programs, so I chose to go to school there.
Over the four years I spent there, I learned a lot-personally and academically, made great friends, made shitty ones too, got really involved in Res Life and had some cool opportunities through that, and a lot more. However, personality-wise, it was never the greatest for me-I didn't feel that click like I did at the schools back East (both were private, liberal arts colleges btw). Most of it was due to what my interests are. Things that I felt I had to hide-partly because I was too insecure to let those different qualities come through, and also because it's different than the 'typical student'. Since graduating, I have been coming to terms with these things, and learning that those qualities are what make me a pretty awesome person. I will list some here for you.
I like meat and eating a diet where I don't cut things out, but try to moderate.
I really don't like pot. I never tried it at CU-the smell alone is too much.
I like skiing and hiking and outdoorsy things to an extent, but I'm not obsessed. I like inside too. Air conditioned gyms are great. So is just chilling at home.
I don't like partying until I pass out, throw up, or whatever. I like having fun at the bars but I don't like the feeling of being out of control.
I like dressing up and putting on makeup and looking pretty when I go out in public. I don't need to dress to the nines just for class, but I like to look nice.
I realize not everyone at CU fits those stereotypes, and there's more things about me I can talk about. But the point is-Boulder isn't the home for me. The school is like that too. The size was a bit much. I got jealous of my friends at smaller schools.
BUT BUT BUT. I am glad I made this mistake. It's like how penicillin was discovered.
Like I stated above, I learned a lot of valuable life lessons while at CU. If I had chosen that other school, I don't know what I would have learned. Maybe the same things, maybe different things. But I took the opportunity to make the best situation I could. That's my second 'confession'-I figured this out while I was still at CU.
I found that close niche by getting involved in Res Life. I learned a lot from that and had opportunities that a smaller school wouldn't have provided, like NACURH. It has proven valuable in job interviews and in life skills in general.
I did make some great friends, and not so great ones. But I'm learning how to tell the difference and the important of making those that care about you back a priority, and forgetting those that don't care.
I had some great classes at CU with some great professors, and graduated with a valuable degree.
Even if I made the wrong 'choice', I still managed to enjoy my four years at CU and learn a lot of valuable life lessons. I have also realized that it's okay to make mistakes, and admit them-like I am right now. I learned to discern what makes me happy and what I need to do to take care of myself. When I one day have to make a big decision again-like grad/law school, a job opportunity, etc.-I can better know what the right decision is, because I have learned how to listen to myself. I am still learning, but I am on that path. Self-discovery is an amazing thing.
So, while going to CU may not have been the best fit for me, I managed to adapt and thrive, and learn how to make a better decision later on in life. If this sounds like you-you can too.
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