Struggles of the millenial/post-campaign friendship

For those of you (all three of you) that have followed this blog since the beginning, yes, I did write about friendship two years ago.  But ideas evolve and new experiences happen.  And right now, it seems appropriate to write about it again.

I'm struggling with navigating friendships, particularly with the fact that most all of my good friends now live far away from me.  I'm very thankful for all of the social media sites and cell phones that allow me to stay in contact with them, but it's still not easy.  And a lot of that is with me.

During the campaign, I had heard of the "post-campaign lull" and mostly wrote that off as nonsense (sorry guys).  But I am just now realizing how real that is.  Yes, the election has been over for about 6 weeks, but this is the first time in that time I've actually really slowed down and had the blessing/curse of a ton of downtime to think about that.  Coupled with the fact that I don't have a job, I really feel that lull right now.  Not sure if it's just me or if others have noticed that.

What also is hard is that I love being in constant communication with people-more than most people probably want, which I feel guilty about.  I feel like a needy friend almost all of the time right now.  The thing is, texting and social media sites are perfect for someone like me that is both an extrovert and introvert: I have an easy way to talk to people, but can do it while by myself.  PERFECT!  Surely the problem is exacerbated by the fact that I have nothing but free time right now (which is hard for me to handle as I've always had school or a job my entire life-and have enjoyed that).  But I get paranoid that if I am not having daily (or almost daily) contact with good friends, that it means our friendship is falling apart.  Is that extreme? Probably.  I know others do not feel that, which is probably way more healthy.

There is something I want to say other than bitching about my problems.  And that is that I love my friends.  I try to do whatever I can to help them, and want to be there whenever necessary (seriously, guys, you are the best.  You know who you are).  I'm sorry if I am overbearing-I just care.  But to those of you that are still reading, love your friends.  Do nice things.  Listen to them.  Hug them (if they like it that is-a laugh for those that are aware of my aversion to hugs).  Also, if you have an issue with a friend-talk it out-it's better to take care of the problem now than let it blow up and possibly ruin the friendship.  Trust me-making friends after you graduate is not as simple as it has been.  Hold on to those you want to stay in touch with.

Any thoughts, feelings, etc you have on this, feel free to share via the Facebook comments or message me.

Love ya bye!

Everything is Grapes: My Time as a Field Organizer and Thoughts about the election

I've been meaning to write about Election 2016 for some time now, but it has taken me until now to really be prepared to do that.  Tonight we are more then a month past the election.  It seemed like a time so far away even on Election Day.  Some things are just like I imagined it: Christmas decorations in the house, an NFL game on in the background, the possibility of snow on the horizon. Not everything is what I thought it would be, though.  Of course, the biggest thing is that when the news talks about the White House Transition, Donald Trump is the President-Elect.

Part of what has prohibited me from writing about my feelings is that they are so broad.  I suppose I will start with Election Night.  When I sat down with my team of amazing organizers to watch the returns (and rejoice that the insanity of GOTV was FINALLY over), I was so excited and happy.  We were about  to elect the first female President of the United States!  We were just hours away from celebrating the hard work that was our lives for the last several months!  The images that played in our heads every day, that kept us going during the hardest times, were finally going to be real! And for the first hour or two, the feeling of excitement continued to fill the air.  Sure, we were losing states but they were ones "to be expected"-it would be okay.

It was a little bit before 11pm when we started to get worried. It was looking like Hillary would be losing NC, FL, and OH-something that wasn't only bad in terms of winning, but also something we never thought would actually happen.  I went to the car and called my mom and started to panic (and the first crying spell of many occured then as well).  After getting a good pep talk from my also worried mom, I went back and watched what seemed to be a bad dream play out on my laptop.  Until 12:30, we laid in the dark on blankets watching, and crying.  As sad of an experience it was, I am glad I had my amazing co-workers there with me.

Me with my amazing co-workers!!

My other struggle that night was that I wanted to express my feelings by talking when none of the others did; but that is what texting is for (thanks Hilary, Michael, and Alex!).  Once our team parted ways for the evening, I went home to my aunts house where I had been staying and watched the returns until 2:30, when CNN finally called PA for Trump.  After that...I couldn't watch.  I couldn't listen to the commentators fighting, or here the inevitable announcement that Trump was our next President.  Waking up the next morning was like a hangover, but worse.  That day was a continuous cycle of being okay for a bit, then being overwhelmed with sadness to the point that I wanted to go to bed and hide from it all.  Even now, thinking about what happened is really hard sometimes.  

As far as the questions of the year-how did this happen?-I don't think there is a simple answer to that.  Sure, polling needs to improve to catch people that were missed.  There is a divide between rural and urban that desperately needs to be addressed (that is for another blog though).  The biggest factor I think, however, is hate.   One of the most important lessons I learned in my time on the campaign is that hate is so prevalent in our society.  People aren't seeing themselves in a position they wanted, and grow resentful towards others.  Unfortunately for us, a candidate emerged that was able to harness and use that hate in such an incredible way.  Worst of all, that candidate normalized hate, which is what makes some happy, and many, including myself, terrified. 

When I listen to the news about the White House transition, I go between wanting to think that we will be okay, that it will all work out, and being truly worried.  And I feel guilty about having both those feelings.  At this point, I think the best thing to do is this:

-stay involved.  I'm planning to volunteer more, and stay alert to what is happening.  By staying involved, we can work towards making change again

-Love one another.  Not just family and friends, but everyone.  Show compassion to those around you.

-Most importantly-DO NOT NORMALIZE HATE.  If crazy, hateful things are attempted, protest.  If you see someone being hateful towards someone, STAND UP TO THAT HATE.  We must speak up now-more than ever.  

As to my personal experience on the campaign-I have been asked if I regret it.  The answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT.

No, we didn't get the results we wanted, but we tried.  The campaign staff and volunteers worked so hard for a cause that they believed in, and urged others to do the same.  I couldn't be more proud of any of them, and gives me hope that there is a bright future ahead.  

On a personal note, I learned so much about myself and feel like I truly grew as a person.  I learned how to really push myself, to not quit until the job was done.  I learned to think of multiple ways to solve problems.  I learned how to work with so many different types of people.  But most importantly, I learned that I truly can be passionate about something, and that it makes me happy.  Before this campaign, I was in a job I was growing to hate, in a city that wasn't suitable for me (minus having my parents and dog there), and was overall miserable.  While being a field organizer literally consumed my life, I was so happy.  I met cool people and had a chance to make a different.  I made many friends, a lot of which I know will stay for many years, a few of those are now some of the people I'm closest to.  

Overall, working on the campaign and the results brought about every single emotion, and I could not be more thankful for such a life changing experience.