I apologize for not updating this in a long time...life has been crazy. Which is what this post is about. Not my life specifically, but things I have noticed about life for most of my post-grad friends.
Lately, I have been hearing a common theme when I talk to my friends and peers about life. There is a plague of uncertainty and fear of failure hanging in the air. I think this stems from a couple of things. First, this is seen (and somewhat correct) "make it or break it" point of our lives: what we do in these next few years sets the tone for our adult lives. We can either seize every opportunity we can to learn and grow and to constantly improve, setting and achieving goal after goal (career, love, or otherwise). This is when we will thrive and tend to obtain a longer-lasting sense of happiness and fulfillment. Or, we can sit around, thinking the opportunity we are waiting for is just around the corner...except it's not...it's here...now...and if it isn't noticed now, it's easy to miss and hard to get back.
This is where the fear of failure comes into play. In most people's cases (at least of the people I am close with), they want to be happy and to lead driven, purposeful lives. But the fear of failure is so strong that it stagnates that growth. Part of this, I think, is due to the fact that for many of us, this is the first time that we are solely responsible for our achievements (or lack thereof). In high school, achievements are primarily those of the individual, but parents, teachers, mentors, etc. also share some credit. They are looking out for the individual and will often be a "safety net" to prevent failure. College is very similar. In college, the idea that you can go out and change the world and anything is possible is very powerful-which is wonderful. However, oftentimes professors, advisors, and other faculty make it seem easier than it actually is, and that the world is ready to embrace these changes simply because they are the right thing to embrace. However, many of us that have graduated are learning the real world often isn't like that: there are many people who are completely okay with being stagnant in their lives and unwilling to accept change. Additionally, changing the world is very challenging. This reality can be overwhelming, which makes many give up completely because it seems impossible to do anything.
This applies to situations in everyday life as well: in one's career and relationships, and other aspects of life that are considered important. People start out with idealistic visions: to be a successful doctor, to be happily married with children, to obtain college friendships after everyone has gone separate ways. However, people soon realize that there are many steps between where they are at the beginning and the end result, which scares people into not trying at all, or going about their goals in ways that will not provide a lot of success.
I will admit now that I am guilty of this: I tend to get frustrated when I don't see the "quick result" of a goal. I see people that have achieved what I want to achieve, and get frustrated that I can't duplicate what they are presently doing, and tend to be self-destructive in my chances of succeeding in my goal, or not doing it at all.
So, what can we do to start achieving our goals, big or small? A solution that I like is by taking things one step at a time. It's still important to keep the ultimate goal in sight, but that will only be achieved by making smaller goals and constantly reaching those-one at a time, building up to the result you want. If it's being able to run a half marathon-start by running two miles without stopping. Wanting to be in a relationship with someone-start by talking to them and getting to know them. If you want a promotion-start by finishing current tasks with efficiency and high quality work. Maybe it's slower than you would like, but I am of the mind set that anything worth having takes effort-something that is very difficult to remember in today's instantaneous society.
This is not just advice for you, but for myself. If you're like me at all, it will be frustrating. But I think in the end it's worth it. Going out and achieving your goals and dreams on your own is very satisfying. Now is the perfect time to do this-so let's get started.
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